A Perfect Circle - Judith

I really like the sound of this song, I like how A Perfect Circle sounds, but I really cannot condone these lyics, and they sort of break my heart. I thought I should respond to it. The Lyrics are bold, and what I am saying is not bold.

"Judith"
By A Perfect Circle


You're such an inspiration for the ways
That I'll never ever choose to be

there was a time I would have agreed with this. When I was younger I looked at the things about the church I didn't like. I thought I could never be like those "Christians" I didn't want to be boring. I thought the tithing (passing around the bucket for money) was awful. I thought they were just trying to make money. Now I see, especially since the church I went to in Seattle couldn't even afford to pay the pastor, that this was not the case. I agree, some televangalists are a bit questionable, but your everyday churches are not making money. It's just a ridiculous accusation. Another thing that I remember upsetting me was reading this article is I think it was "Christian Reader" about how this pastor "got through to the goths". At this point, I considered myself gothic and so it really offended me and I thought it was so stupid, but now I see that USUALLY what comes along with being a true "goth" is drugs and depression. The article was a bit ignorant, but it doesn't bug me so much anymore. As far as Christians being boring - okay so I don't drink, I don't make out with random boys. Those things were not good for me, and I don't miss them (Well, okay, sometimes I wish I could just make out honestly) but for the most part I don't want to do those things anymore. Besides I have way more fun now that isn't detrimental now then I ever did before. I mean, come on, I wouldn't consider myself a boring person. Would any of you see me that way. So I would say now that upright Christians are the inspiration for what I want to be, and I hope to be an inspiration for others.

Oh so many ways for me to show you
How the savior has abandoned you

this is part of my testimony, but there was a time I felt that God had abandoned me. All of this stuff kept coming at me I couldn't control. I was cutting, drinking, smoking, doing anything to nullify the pain. I was lost, alone, desolate. I figured God was just passing me by. Letting it happen to me. I told myself he didn't love me. It was the worst feeling ever. This is what I know now. God never once abandoned me. I can see times in my life when I flat out denied him that he was protecting me, carrying me, and when I did call out to him, he did come and reveal himself. He never once abandoned me, and he never has abandoned you. We have abandoned him, and how I felt thinking he had done that to me, is how we feels as we abandon him. He loves you, he loves us all, and he is waiting for us to reach for him. These lines are lies. God has never abandoned us. Ever.

F*ck your God
Your Lord and your Christ
He did this
Took all you had and
Left you this way
Still you pray, you never stray
Never taste of the fruit
You never thought to question why

I have had a lot of crappy things happen to me. Pain I never deserved. Pain no one deserved. I entered adolescene very broken and was only broken more. Many times I screamed out asking God why he was doing this to me? Why did he allow it? I blamed him, I hated him. I called him a "sick f**k". I thought he was sadistic and I told him I hated him. In my heart I meant it. I truly beleived in my heart that he had done this to me, and now I see this wasn't true either. God gave us free will. Unfortunatley we get hurt through it. God does not always allow things to happen, we should stop blaming everything bad on him. God was watching out for me. Sin did those things to me. Not God. This may be a hard concept for a non-christian to grasp, but it is true. Besides, the worst thing that has ever happened to me God changed into the most wonderful thing. It is quite personal, but I am not opposed to telling those who ask, however I don't feel comfortable posting it on here. My point is that God is not doing anything bad to anyone. Stop blaming him. Furthermore, since I have become a Christian it hasn't been all roses and sunshine. This is still a sinful world I live in and I hurt myself, as well am hurt by others. I posted that I was afraid of the pain that was coming in my livejournal once, and someone anonymously asked, "Where's your God now?" He was there with me. Waiting for me to pray and draw near to him so he could comfort me. This past year was the hardest yet since becoming a Christian, but I got though it with no cutting, no drinking, nothing of that sort. I got through it by blessing God's name and leaning on him. He carried me though it, and I was able to cry when I needed to cry and laugh at other times. For the most part, I would say I was still happy and he protected me from depression. My faith is not blind. I have questioned. It was attacked this year and even in spiritual sickness, the Lord took care of me.

It's not like you killed someone
It's not like you drove a hateful spear into his side
Praise the one who left you
Broken down and paralyzed
He did it all for you
He did it all for you

I did kill someone. I killed Jesus. Every sin I've ever commited is a thorn in his brow, a nail in his hand. It was because of my sins that he died. All of our sins hung him on that cross, but we are forgiven. In Christ we are made righteous again. So it doesn't matter what sins I've commited (not to say we shouldn't sin). I'm forgiven. However, even small sins are as big a trespass against God as murder. They are still hurtful to us and the Lord. So I will praise the one who stuck by my side. The one who picked me up and healed me. He did it for me, that's right. Christ could have left us in desolation, he could have left us with no hope to heal our sins, but he didn't. Because he loved us he chose to bear that shame himself.

Oh so many many ways for me to show you
How your dogma has abandoned you
Pray to your Christ, to your god
Never taste of the fruit
Never stray, never break
Never---choke on a lie
Even though he's the one who did this to you
You never thought to question why

I don't know where this is coming from, but my dogma has not abandoned me. I think he thinks that Christians don't sin and don't doubt and don't stray. That is not true. That is lie he is choking on. I sin daily now and I always will. The only difference is that I sin less and less as I become closer and closer to Christ, the only difference is that I am forgiven for the ones I've commited thus far and will commit in the future. I do doubt. Last year was an extreme period of spiritual sickness and doubt for me. My faith was heavily attacked and I strayed. I messed up a lot, and created a huge mess I can't clean up on my own. A mess that tears me up inside because of how it has affected others, but the only lie I ever choked on was that God wasn't there, didn't care, and couldn't clean up my mess.

Not like you killed someone
It's Not like you drove a spiteful spear into his side
Talk to Jesus Christ
As if he knows the reasons why
He did it all for you
Did it all for you
He did it all for you

This song really breaks my heart. I wonder why this man feels this way? What happened to him to make him so angry at God? What lies has he been told? I want to diasabuse him of it all. I want to show him the misconceptions he holds. One time when I was working at kinkos someone had brought in a cd jacket to be copied. It had lyrics in them and one was talking about God had stabbed him in the back and it broke my heart. I know the feeling, I know the midset, but it simply isn't true. It's hard to explain fully, but I'm saying that God has plans not to harm you, but to give you a purpose, a future and all of his love (somewhere in Jeremiah is this verse that I paraphrased). God has never abandoned or stabbed in the back. These are things he has done to us. The truth is that there is another entitiy that hates us and will stab us in the back, and that entity is Satan, but God is stronger than Satan and he will be defeated, and under God's protection he cannot penetrate so easily, but you must ask for that protection, you must keep your own guard up. God is not the ememy, Satan and sin are. Please know that God loves you and this whole song is a sad lie.