The Disrespect of Women

I had a strange dream last night. I drempt that I was starting this organization called People For a Decrease in Violence Against Women. I was talking about shutting down porn, strip clubs, getting hip hop artists to stop making such degrading videos and rapping about "hos", battling rape myths, eduacting about violence and women and what perpetuates it. In my dream I was really starting this organization, and I woke up wondering if one day I really could. Now this is the part where I start ranting. I warned you, don't complain. Elston, if you liked my abortion blog, get your girlfriend and gather round.

Last night I was watching MTV one of the few times it has something intelligent on it. There was a documentry on women in hip hop videos. Now, I have long been peturbed by the way the hip hop community potrays women, and if you want to go further into it, african americans, but let's stick with women for now. The program talked to current and former video models. One of the models described her experience, and has written a book that would be interesting to read. It was called "Confessions of a Video Vixen". She said that in her video model days she was passed around to all the men as a human blow up doll. She described how low self-esteem allowed her to do this to herself. Some of the rappers (I think they were rappers, I don't know all the hip hop artists) were talking about how they kept some girls aroudn jsut in case someone got "hot". Turns out this world is worse that I thought. The girls in these videos are there simply to oogle at. They are scantily clad with no rhyme or reason other than for guys to get off. They have beer poured on them, money put in their g-strings and credit cards slid throught their butt-cracks. These women are images of living pornography pornography is defined as a sexually explicit image intended to be sexually arousing) Now these girls are not naked, but near so. my point is this, they are perpetuating women being looked at as sex objects and that attitude is clearly demonstrated by the way the video models are treated on these shoots. Many of the girls talked about recieving money, cars, gifts, bills paid in exchange for "services", some girls did this soley for that. It is high glamour prostitution. But my main qualm is not only with hip hop videos, but pornography is general. I've had a lot of exposure to talking about porn in the past year and a half. From it beginning with having a boyfriend who failed to mention a little problem with porn, to the event of porn nation coming to Western that I described in an earlier blog, to talking about rape myths and the effects of porn in my school books. I will say it right now that I absolutley hate porn, and I am biased, but even so. I beleive that I am justified. Pornography destroys women. it potrats women as here only to service men. My social psych class talked about how porn potrays women as subservient, wanting to be conquered. It shows women as weak and initially resisiting, but then giving in, having sex and liking it, as creatures that want sex, sex, sex, and have nothing else to them. This leads men to create a beleif, no matter how unconsious that no means yes, and that any woman who is raped will end up enjoying it, they may even want to be raped. This can be exemplified in one comment an ex-boyfriend said to me that I have never forgotten, "If a girl gets raped, she should just enjoy it." There is this notion out there demonstrated by surveys that women will enjoy sex even if they are being forced. I know, it's shocking, but this is what we call a rape myth. they exisit. Things like "If a woman is dressed provocativley, she deserves what she got" this is even used in court room settings by defense. Other rape myths include, "If she initially agrees she can't back out, you can't be raped by your husband or aquantinces, rapes happen in alley ways." Porn can desensitize men to violence against women, lead them to think that women are more sexual than they really are, want to be coerced, and scores of other things. So how can be stop violence against women? I really think that pornography can stop potraying women as sexual beings and start potraying them as human beings. I don't understand girls wanting to be playboy bunnies. I can understand wanting to feel sexy and desirable, I feel that often too, but I don't have to disrespect myself to do it. If you dress like a whore, you WILL be treated like one. At no time when I was younger and dressed more provocatively did I have an honest guy come hit on me, no it was always the guy that wanted to get in my pants. I may not get hit on as frequently anymore, but at least I know that if a guy does express interest, it's not because my boobs are in his face. We can educate about rape myths, we can encourage rappers to stop rapping about hos and sex, and to stop using these video girls as whores and such. Even female artists like britney spears, christina aguilera and Jessica Simpson need to top dressing skanky and realize that even though no one is spraying beer on them, they are still being seen as T and A and not a person. Just because you aren't having money stuck in your g-string doesn't mean you are not seen as a sexual object. Until these things go away we will not help women become equal with men, but stay in a state where we are stuck in "the eternal position". Please women, I urge you, do not let your friends refer to women as "pussies" or "hos", or even as "chicks". Do not let men expect sex out of you. Don't sell yourself short. Pay attention to what you wear. Let's respect ourselves, so that other people respect us. and men, no means no, I don't care if she's naked and you were two inches from penetrating, if you hear no, you stop. If you don't it is rape, I don't care if she is your wife. Don't reward artists like nelly and 50 cent, don't reward objetification of women. Don't reward movies like "wedding crashers". Please, for your sisters, daughters, mothers, we are not sex objects, please stop seeing us so.